Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Wheres the button to lower these barriers?????

Well I ended my last blog mentioning the issue my new relationship has brought up.

Where to start..........

Well the new man, I've known him for years he use to work in the pub I drank in. I remember the first time he served me he actually made me speechless he has the most amazing eyes and when he spoke to me he would look directly in my eyes, my stomach actually flipped! But over the years we just became friends and would chat when we were in the pub.

So a few weeks back he asked me to come out for a catch up drink and its turned into the beginnings of a relationship.


But....

I am seriously struggling with certain aspects of a relationship. I have lived on my own with my little boy for the last 6 to 6 and half years now. My mum said to me only a few months ago that I'm too independent to settle down now and I fear shes right.

I am starting to get that nagging feeling of being annoyed with him when he's around me too much or when he trys to help me do things! Which is obviously completely mad but the only thing I can put it down to is that I am so use to having my own space and doing things for myself so that when someone trys to do something for me I almost feel like they are doing it as they think I cant do it for myself, so then I end up having to prove a point that I'm not a helpless woman and if you can do it so can I!

So what I am trying to establish at the moment is am I too independent or is it that this is not the right person for me to be with? I'm thinking time will tell and while its deciding I need to take note of my issues and try and deal with them and let him do some things for me even if it is with gritted teeth, as I know he is only being like it to be kind and I do appreciate it I guess its time to work out where the button is to lower my barriers!

1 comment:

Sabrae said...

Just a little to independent... which is a wonderful thing!!! I wish my best friend was as independent as you!!! lol then she wouldn't drive me nuts complaining about the many men in her life! I don't think that it's he's not the right one as you are just use to doing EVERTHING alone and on your own :) Hope that made sense ?