I've spent this afternoon packing my little mans suitcase ready for his holiday, bless him he's so excited that hes actually going to see some snow this christmas and mummy will get to know what its like to be a single nearly thirty woman!!! Plus I get to look forward to the day he comes home and we get to go to the panto two days before christmas, good times!
Other than this still living the dilemma of my love life but just going with the flow and taking things on a daily basis, watch this space....
Saturday, 13 December 2008
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
Wheres the button to lower these barriers?????
Well I ended my last blog mentioning the issue my new relationship has brought up.
Where to start..........
Well the new man, I've known him for years he use to work in the pub I drank in. I remember the first time he served me he actually made me speechless he has the most amazing eyes and when he spoke to me he would look directly in my eyes, my stomach actually flipped! But over the years we just became friends and would chat when we were in the pub.
So a few weeks back he asked me to come out for a catch up drink and its turned into the beginnings of a relationship.
But....
I am seriously struggling with certain aspects of a relationship. I have lived on my own with my little boy for the last 6 to 6 and half years now. My mum said to me only a few months ago that I'm too independent to settle down now and I fear shes right.
I am starting to get that nagging feeling of being annoyed with him when he's around me too much or when he trys to help me do things! Which is obviously completely mad but the only thing I can put it down to is that I am so use to having my own space and doing things for myself so that when someone trys to do something for me I almost feel like they are doing it as they think I cant do it for myself, so then I end up having to prove a point that I'm not a helpless woman and if you can do it so can I!
So what I am trying to establish at the moment is am I too independent or is it that this is not the right person for me to be with? I'm thinking time will tell and while its deciding I need to take note of my issues and try and deal with them and let him do some things for me even if it is with gritted teeth, as I know he is only being like it to be kind and I do appreciate it I guess its time to work out where the button is to lower my barriers!
Where to start..........
Well the new man, I've known him for years he use to work in the pub I drank in. I remember the first time he served me he actually made me speechless he has the most amazing eyes and when he spoke to me he would look directly in my eyes, my stomach actually flipped! But over the years we just became friends and would chat when we were in the pub.
So a few weeks back he asked me to come out for a catch up drink and its turned into the beginnings of a relationship.
But....
I am seriously struggling with certain aspects of a relationship. I have lived on my own with my little boy for the last 6 to 6 and half years now. My mum said to me only a few months ago that I'm too independent to settle down now and I fear shes right.
I am starting to get that nagging feeling of being annoyed with him when he's around me too much or when he trys to help me do things! Which is obviously completely mad but the only thing I can put it down to is that I am so use to having my own space and doing things for myself so that when someone trys to do something for me I almost feel like they are doing it as they think I cant do it for myself, so then I end up having to prove a point that I'm not a helpless woman and if you can do it so can I!
So what I am trying to establish at the moment is am I too independent or is it that this is not the right person for me to be with? I'm thinking time will tell and while its deciding I need to take note of my issues and try and deal with them and let him do some things for me even if it is with gritted teeth, as I know he is only being like it to be kind and I do appreciate it I guess its time to work out where the button is to lower my barriers!
Tuesday, 9 December 2008
Busy busy busy!
Wow I dont know where the last few weeks have gone really its been so hectic but I guess its the time of year!
I've now managed to complete every bit of christmas shopping thank goodness!
The christmas decs are up, now that was a day of emotions running wild! Having got the tree down from the loft and out of the box I realised it was damaged after last year antics. This resulting in a major stroop of kicking empty boxes around and lots of crying and flashbacks. So it was decided not to try and fix the tree but to throw it out and buy a new tree and decorations to build new memorys from this year.
My little man is off to Bulgaria next week to visit his grandparents so I'm going to have a week off, not sure how this will pan out. More than likely I will enjoy the peace for two days and then feel at a complete loss and not know what to do with myself!
Things with previous said man are looking promising but has also raised some issues with myself which I will get into in another post as I am now being called to read Twas the night before christmas (the best christmas poem written) before bedtime.
I've now managed to complete every bit of christmas shopping thank goodness!
The christmas decs are up, now that was a day of emotions running wild! Having got the tree down from the loft and out of the box I realised it was damaged after last year antics. This resulting in a major stroop of kicking empty boxes around and lots of crying and flashbacks. So it was decided not to try and fix the tree but to throw it out and buy a new tree and decorations to build new memorys from this year.
My little man is off to Bulgaria next week to visit his grandparents so I'm going to have a week off, not sure how this will pan out. More than likely I will enjoy the peace for two days and then feel at a complete loss and not know what to do with myself!
Things with previous said man are looking promising but has also raised some issues with myself which I will get into in another post as I am now being called to read Twas the night before christmas (the best christmas poem written) before bedtime.
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